I had to step away from social media for my health. Not just mental health but deep, long term physical health. I have a large assortment of health issues that have plagued me for years. These health issues are more than I can bare most days. Because of these health issues I had to make some major life decisions.
I will start out with sharing I have a heart arrhythmia. This arrhythmia has affected me everyday for 10+ years. As time has progressed it’s gotten increasingly worse. All day long, day and night, my heart skips randomly. If I am tired, cold, starving etc…. it is especially triggered. This heart condition, called PVC and PAC, make it difficult to concentrate, drive, work, sleep, basically live a normal life. I have given up caffeine, alcohol, chocolate; basically all the guilty pleasures in life that a 30 something would live for. I can’t go get a drink with a friend after work or go catch up with a co-worker over coffee. I’ve tried a multitude of Dr’s, and medications in south GA but nothing has worked significantly. In fact a few of those tested medications have landed me in the hospital. I also live with reactive hypoglycemia, a herniated disc in my back, iron deficiency anemia, Vitamin D deficiency and Hashimoto Hypothyroidism. It is a horrific cocktail of physical illness, mental illness, and sheer determination to fight.
Everyday I wake up and my first thought is will I have a good day or a bad day. To experience this in your mid 20’s through mid 30’s is debilitating in and of it’s self. While most in their 20’s and 30’s are working harder than ever in their careers, relationships and families; I feel like I’m so far behind I will never catch up. I’m not proud to share I’ve deeply contemplated unaliving myself on multiple occasions because of this. The constant reminder that you have no control over your body is debilitating. A chronic gnawing in your body and soul, to remind you that you’ll likely die much sooner than everyone you know. I have screamed, prayed, bargained with God, and cried myself to sleep so many times. At some point you just give up and wonder if it’s worth it.
Clint (my boyfriend of 7 years) was offered a job in the Kansas City area. I didn’t know much about Kansas City except that they had all 4 actual seasons and a thriving art scene. I did some more research and found that Kansas City University of Medicine has a well managed health system. They’re an umbrella medical system where all Dr’s within the network communicate with one another.
The KCU program is exactly what I need for my health issues since I have so many of them. So, I moved! Clint & I packed up our 4 bedroom 2 bath for a 2 bed 2 bath townhome in Overland Park, Kansas. I was able to find an electrophysiologist that is 7 minutes from my home and specializes in my type of heart arrhythmia. They ran their tests and confirmed my diagnosis. Unfortunately my diagnosis isn’t significant enough to warrant major heart reparative surgery yet. But the Dr. has started me on new medication that he recommends for people in my situation. It is only day 4 of the medication but I am seeing an improvement. I pray this time I’ve found the answer and relief I desperately want.
In order to help combat the depression, I also took the plunge on a new job. I’m proud to say I am now an Old Navy employee. I’m only able to work part time currently, because of my health but I could see it blooming into full time. I chose Old Navy because I wanted a job that was more physically active. I mean why not work and get healthy at the same time. I also needed to surround myself with positivity. Old Navy is the only brick & mortar store you can shop in store for sizes XS all the way up to a 4X. I want to be a part of that. They’re supporters of the LGBTQIA+ community. They literally try to pump fun into every day through their fashion, music, and mission. The employee discount is pretty sweet too. My goal is to become a full time employee if & when my health allows.
I’m hopeful to say, I believe moving to Kansas City was the right thing for me. I pray these major changes in region, job, Dr’s and mental awareness will lead me in the right direction for a better healthier future. In the meantime, I am picking back up with this blog; all be it less than previously published. Although I may post less frequently; I will continue to post if nothing more than an accountability diary for my mental health.
In the meantime, stay tuned. I do have lots of new fashion grub coming your way soon!
Hugs, Kisses, and All That Jazz,